Vulnerability is one of our most fundamental elements to free ourselves from a self-defeating inner talk. Here we explore this potential for vulnerability along with an incredibly inspiring video from TED.com.
The known definition of vulnerability is “the state of being vulnerable or exposed; “his vulnerability to litigation”; “his exposure to ridicule””. While with many things that are good, much of their meaning is lost in translation, only partially written by oldschool intellect. It is due time to expose this negative connotation with vulnerability and transform it to a driving force for change.
The power of vulnerability is that it connects you with what is, without the defense mechanism of thinking “what is not” or “this shouldn’t be”. In Eastern philosophy vulnerability is better known as surrendering, to the moment, to your loved one, to your self – compassionately with no judgment and no expectation.
One very powerful thing must be known though – that with this epic freedom of your most intimate being, there is an intense responsibility – this responsibility is based on trust, trust that the current situation you find yourself in is based on wisdom, your own experience for where you should be rather than a space you find yourself “placed” into.
The underlying message here is,
Have the courage to be imperfect – it will transform you.
This courage to embody this very moment, this very point of existence that you find your self within, surrendering to everything that “could be”, that “should be” or that never was. Connects you to what is – which is most important.
This is where vulnerability comes into play – In order for connection to happen we have to allow ourselves to be seen.
What plagues so much of society is shame. Which is quite absurd as we have so much, while there is so many with so little. Shame is known as the fear of disconnection – the question that “is there something about me that if other people know it or see it – I will be unworthy of connection?” The feeling, that I’m not good enough.
Brene Brown is a researcher and storyteller – featured on TED which is one of the greatest repositories for intellectual growth I have come across. I thought this video would be perfect to share as it is all about exploring your self, and understanding the Power of Vulnerability.
Brene deconstructed shame and worked to see how vulnerability works. Here in this 15 minute presentation, she speaks about how 10 years of research has transformed her life. She found that if she took the people that she interviewed – and divided them into two groups:
- Those with a sense of worthiness – a strong sense of love and belonging
- Those who struggle for this sense of love and belonging (those who are always wondering if they are good enough)
She found that there is only one underlying difference between these two groups. That those with a sense of worthiness – a strong sense of love and belonging, simply believe they are worthy of love and belonging. They believe they are worthy. That is it.
The one thing that keeps us out of connection is our fear that we are not worthy of connection.
I hope you enjoy this video and find it as inspiring as I did. As I explore connection and the beautiful simplicity of life, I find that the more total we are in whatever we do, the more opportunity we provide ourselves to be in the moment, in joy, happiness and creativity. What joins this subjective exploration of my own, is Brene’s finding that:
Those with a deep sense of worthiness are wholehearted people. They live life in totality of self, surrendering their shame and opening to vulnerability.